a pint of o-negative if it's cold...

dracula.

bram stoker.

this baby has no copyright, anyone and everyone has it in print.

release date: ohhhhh, you know, 1897.

When Jonathan Harker visits Transylvania to help Count Dracula purchase a London house, he makes horrifying discoveries about his client and his castle. Soon afterwards, disturbing incidents unfold in England: an unmanned ship is wrecked at Whitby; strange puncture marks appear on a young woman's neck; and a lunatic asylum inmate raves about the imminent arrival of his 'Master'. In the ensuing battle of wits between the sinister Count and a determined group of adversaries, Bram Stoker created a masterpiece of the horror genre, probing deeply into human identity, sanity, and the dark corners of Victorian sexuality and desire.

here's the thing about dracula, the reason why it's a classic, the reason it's lorded as the ultimate vampire novel:

it's BAT SHIT CRAZY TERRIFYING AWESOME. word.

it's creepy. in that awesome way that makes your whole body goose pimple and shake with that arrrrrgggghhh feeling. it is that horrifying moment you find a spider in your bed. or the moment your foot takes a step and you cannot find solid ground.

the style. i think it's the changing narrative that throws the style into CREEP-O-FACTOR. you get the diary entries and letters from the main characters, but then, every so often, some randoms ship log is thrown in, and newspaper clippings and you're all 'OH MY GOD IT'S REAL I'M GOING TO DIEEEEEEE!'... yeah.

a flare of indignation. nothing like living in the modern era and being able to look back over a hundred years and say: 'yeah holmes, we be pimpin'. antiquated though dracula's view on women may be, it does have one thing going for it: it was written a hundred and fifteen years ago... twilight, however, has no such excuse.

and really if you're going to chose between two books with the same take on women's rights and roles within society; wouldn't you rather chose the one that isn't a pansy-ass-cry-baby? which leads us to...

DRACULA. dracula is the reason to read dracula. count dracula is BAD ASS peeps. he just LOOKS at you and you drop dead... or become his eternal lover. definitely one or the other.

location location location. puhlease, one word people: TRANSYLVANIA. are you kidding me? ARE YOU KIDDING ME????? transylvania would just have to be the BEST NAMED COUNTRY EVER. seriously. so awesome.

there's so much more to talk about, but half the fun is curling up in bed, home alone, late at night, and scaring yourself silly.

welcome to the thrill ride ladies and gentlemen.